There are basically five basic subtypes of emotional abuse. The type of emotional abuse a parent engages in usually depends on his or her own childhood experiences. The five subtypes of emotional abuse are: rejection, ignoring, terrorizing, isolating and corrupting. Usually rejecting occurs with verbal abuse, ignoring, with emotional neglect, and terrorizing, isolating, and corruption, with psychological abuse. However, a crossover of many methods within all subtypes is normal.
Rejecting
Parents who lack the ability to bond or attach with their child often display rejecting behaviors toward their child. They tell the child that he or she is unwanted, through both physical and verbal behaviors. They may tell the child to leave home or tell the child that he or she does not belong in their family. They may call the child names, use profanity when speaking to him/her, or say that the child is worthless. The child may become the family scapegoat, being blamed for all the family’s problems. The parents may not physically show love or affection to the child.
Ignoring
Parents who have few of their own emotional needs met are often unable to respond to the daily needs of their children. The parent may be physically present, but emotionally unavailable. This type of emotional abuse is often seen in parents who are neglectful or in parents who abuse alcohol or drugs. The parent is unable to attach to the child or provide nurturance and love. This is manifested by the parent's not showing any interest in the child, never expressing any affection or positive emotions towards the child, or not even recognizing the child’s existence.
Terrorizing
Emotionally abusive parents may single out one child to criticize and punish. They may ridicule him or her for displaying normal emotions or make fun of his or her aspirations. They may threaten the child with death, mutilation or abandonment if the parents’ wishes are not met. They may also threaten to harm a pet, the other parent, or a sibling if the child does not comply.
Isolating
A parent who does not trust the world or who wants to control the family may isolate his or her family. The adult who is abusing the family may also isolate the family to avoid discovery. The parent may not allow the children to participate in school or community activities or may not allow them to have friends outside the family or school.
They also may not allow them to be exposed to stimulating community experiences such as school field trips. Teenagers may be prevented from participating in extracurricular activities such as clubs or sports. In more extreme situations, parents may require the children to stay in the house, not play in the neighborhood, or be confined to their rooms except for school and meals. Eating may be allowed only in seclusion.
Corrupting
Parents who permit their underage child to use alcohol/drugs or engage in gambling are considered to be corrupting their child. Exposing their child to sexual acts, as in allowing them to watch pornographic movies, allowing or forcing them to watch adult sex acts, allowing the teenager to have sex at home or encouraging prostitution are other ways of corrupting the child. Criminal acts, such as stealing, breaking and entering, assault, gambling, prostitution, selling drugs, and so on are all corruptive activities to which a child should not be exposed. Corruption is the easiest act of emotional abuse to substantiate and intervene in because often it entails illegal acts.
As with physical abuse, there are common behavioral indicators that point toward possible emotional abuse in the family. These behavioral indicators are exhibited in both the parent and the child. In reviewing these indicators, it is important to remember that no one behavior indicates emotional abuse. It is the cluster of behaviors exhibited by both the parent and the child that gives cause for concern.
Parental indicators of verbal abuse include parents who:
Parental indicators of psychological abuse include parents who:
Child indicators include children who exhibit extremes of behaviors, including:
Other indicators are children who lag in their social and emotional development and who:
We also need to watch children who exhibit mental health concerns, such as:
Other indicators are children who engage in nervous or self-destructive habits, such as:
Children who are victims of abuse may have the following physical problems:
Other children may have the following developmental lags: