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Behavior management of children with Autism Spectrum Disorders is not very different from behavior management with other children. All children require discipline and limits in the context of caring and affection. Remember, these are strategies that are effective at different times. Do not expect to implement any of these all the time. It is okay to embrace the ones that make the most sense to you.

Be Consistent - Be Predictable 

Children learn and develop best when adults respond to their behavior in the same way each time.  Children need to know what is expected of them.  Avoid throwing surprises at children when you want them to learn appropriate behavior.

Set Limits 

Specifically, tell children what they can and cannot do.  This is not only okay to do, but it is critical. Children do not want total control of the family, even children with special needs.  Children thrive on knowing the limits.  Children must learn to manage their own behavior, and they do this best in a structured environment that provides consistent limits. 

Be firm with children.  You show your firmness through consistency, your tone of voice, and following through with consequences when a limit is broken.

First/Then

Use first/then language, such as “First work, then toy (or music),” “First snack, then playtime,” or “First math, then occupational therapy.”  A visual cue card used in conjunction with the language will be very helpful.  The card should have a dark line drawn down the middle with “First” written on the left and “Then” written on the right.   Put a picture under each word to show what is first and what is next. 

Rule Book

For children who can read, get a small spiral notebook and make it into a rulebook.  Print a rule or two on each page.  Have the child carry it with him across settings so that when he breaks a rule he understands what he did. 

Questions 

If you ask children to do something, they can refuse to do it.  If you want them to do something, such as clean up their toys, tell them to do it.  If you use the word “please,” you may be giving the child a choice, which is not always advisable.  However, asking indirect questions (such as, "What do you need to do next?") rather than telling the child explicitly what to do helps the child think

Sometimes students with Autism Spectrum Disorders ask repetitive questions.  Answer the question the first time.  The second time, ask the child what the answer is.  The third time, ignore it.  If a child cannot stop himself, tell him when he can ask questions.  For example, he may ask one question after the worksheet is completed or at a certain time.  Then when he keeps asking questions, you can redirect him to when he can ask and to the fact that he must work now.

Communicative Functions of Behavior

Many behaviors exhibited by children with little or no language have a communicative intent.  When faced with a problem behavior, attempt to determine everything the child is trying to tell you with that behavior.  For example, a child may have a tantrum because she is angry that you are not letting her do what she wants, because she is tired, because she cannot reach something she wants, etc.

Divert Attention

When a child is engaged in a non-preferred activity, direct her attention to another, more preferred activity.  For example, children who gaze at their hands could be given something to do with their hands that would interfere with the hand gazing

Antecedent  >  Behavior  >  Consequence

Antecedent: something that occurs before the behavior occurs. Sometimes it’s difficult to figure out, but do not give up. The easiest way to manage an inappropriate behavior is to prevent it from happening, so eliminate the antecedents whenever possible

Behavior: Some negative behaviors may have a communicative intent. Some negative behaviors are typical of a developmental level.
Consequences should be:

Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement follows a behavior you would like to see more often.
Praise success (if the child values and understands praise. If not, do not use it exclusively).
Reinforcers: make sure they are what the child really likes, not what you think he or she likes.  Do not assume that the reinforcers will always be the same.  Be certain that they can be limited and that limiting them will not have an adverse effect.

Move Quickly

Try not to get hurt.  If the child who is being aggressive is safe, move away quickly.

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