Ways Children React to Change

Characteristics of children who want to “Keep-it-the-Same”:

• Rely on routines and typically find changes hard
• May react to even the smallest of shifts—a new nipple on the bottle, a new food on their plate, or a slight change in a regular routine
• Generally thrive on order and predictable routines to feel safe and secure
• Need lots of time and support to get comfortable in new surroundings or with new people
• Tend to have more tantrums, which can be triggered by either minor changes (e.g., a new pair of shoes) or more major ones (e.g., a new babysitter). Tantrums can also unfold during everyday transitions, when children are asked to stop doing something they are happily involved in to begin another activity (e.g., going from playtime to lunch).

Practical Strategies to support children who want to “Keep-it-the-Same”:

• Use familiar objects to ease anxiety during transitions. A new doctor will be less scary if the child has his or her favorite blanket or stuffed animal in hand.
• Let children be part of the transition. Let them put the ball in the stroller bag when it is time to head home from the park or press the button to turn off the TV.
• Ease into new activities. Talk about new activities first, and arrive early enough to allow children to get comfortable.
• Offer advance notice when an activity is about to end: “When this book is finished, we’re going home.”
• Notice and comment when children have made a transition appropriately: “You got into the car seat so quickly. That’s great!” 
• Give children a sense of control about how they want to make transitions. For a toddler, you might say, “Would you like to kick the ball one more time before we leave?”

Characteristics of children who “Take-it-in-Stride”:

• Generally find new things interesting (such as new friends, new clothes, new foods, new babysitters, etc.)
• Typically adapt well pretty much anywhere you take them. These are the babies who can nap in noisy restaurants, nurse wherever you happen to be, and (when older) enjoy looking around, drawing on the paper you tucked in your bag, or joining in the conversation.

Practical Strategies to support children who “Take-it-in-Stride”:

• Offer children a variety of experiences. Try a new park, check out the local pool for water play, or visit the library for story hour.
• Be sensitive to children’s signals. When a child is extremely easygoing, we sometimes take for granted that any change is okay. Offer extra support during the times when children may have trouble with a transition.
• Let children know about new situations ahead of time. For example, tell them before going to a new place or meeting someone new. Children who enjoy new situations also enjoy talking about them and looking forward to them.
• Be sure to find some one-on-one quiet time to enjoy together. No matter how much a child enjoys being out in the world, there’s nothing like snuggling up with their favorite person and their favorite book.

Once again, it is not surprising that most children fall somewhere in the middle. They may have an easy time with new foods, but a more difficult time with new places. They may be cautious around unknown adults, but perfectly comfortable with new peers. Given some time to get used to a change or new situation, they feel safe, at ease, and eager to explore.