Three to Six Year Olds Social-Emotional Red Flags

Professional screening and assessment may be indicated if a child…

By 3 years:

• Doesn’t watch or want to play near or with peers
• Can’t play alone for at least several minutes
• Ignores and doesn’t seek comfort from adults
• Can’t explore because of excessive clinginess to caregiver
• Becomes angry and aggressive without provocation
• Has flat affect or inappropriate emotional reactions
• Doesn’t defend possessions

By 4 years:

• Has tantrums that last more than ten minutes
• Is hyper-vigilant and anxious
• Can’t share or take turns with peers (with adult assistance)
• Doesn’t engage in sociodramatic or pretend play
• Doesn’t show concern or empathy for another’s distress
• Injures self purposefully, like biting self or head-banging
• Steals or hoards food
• Is cruel to animals and those less able
• Doesn’t have reciprocal conversations but instead obsesses on narrowly defined interests

By 5 years:

• Can’t play well with others; has no friends
• Is socially isolated or extremely shy or fearful
• Can’t read or interpret social cues
• Can’t do most self-care skills such as grooming
• Doesn’t play cooperatively with others
• Doesn’t engage in “realistic” dramatic play

By age 6:

• Doesn’t take turns, listen to, or help peers
• Difficulty telling parent what’s wrong
• Play is different from peers
• Doesn’t seem to notice or understand feelings
• Too dependent on adults for attention and help