Guidance Approaches
There are several guidance approaches that are helpful with toddlers (and preschoolers):
- Set simple and clear rules in a way that is firm but kind (“Use walking feet inside”).
- Focus on appropriate behaviors by using positive reinforcement rather than punishment.
- Acknowledge, describe, and label their and others’ feelings and then show appropriate ways of expression (“You can say no, but you can’t hit your friend”).
- Use distraction and redirection (for example, show the toddler where running or drawing are okay).
- Substitution, or model and encourage different behavior (such as petting the cat rather than pulling its tail).
- Offer limited choices (“Do you want to put your coat on by yourself or do you want help?”).
- Avoid unnecessary power struggles by allowing choices and letting toddlers help whenever possible.
- Be consistent with consequences (every time you throw sand, you must leave the sand box).
- Model and teach negotiation skills, but stay close, since toddlers are just learning self-control.
- Expect repeated testing as this is how toddlers learn the rules and consequences.
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