Toileting Facts and Tips
Toileting Facts
- Most children show readiness between 24 and 36 months. They must have developed sufficiently in all domains (motor, cognitive, language, and social-emotional) to be ready for toileting.
- Girls tend to be ready for and successful at toileting about two months earlier than boys.
- Bowel control is typically achieved at 29 months and bladder control by 32 months. However, many children will still wet at night until age five.
- It usually takes between three and six months (or longer) to learn the process--but expect regressions.
Toileting Tips
- Have the child involved in the diapering process (such as pulling his own pants up and down, helping to wipe his bottom, etc.) so that using the potty is not so much more work than staying in diapers.
- Go slowly and know that setbacks are normal, especially when other big changes are happening in the child’s life (like a new sibling or a move).
- Avoid power struggles. As I teach my early childhood students, “You can lead a toddler to the potty, but you can’t make him poop!”
- Be positive and encouraging. Use simple words (like “poopy,” “BM,” “penis,” or “vulva”) and avoid negative terms (such as “stinky” or “gross”) so the toddler doesn’t feel he himself is “dirty” or “yucky.”
- Use lots of praise and encouragement rather than bribes or punishment. Remember how easily toddlers feel shamed.
- Don’t begin the process until the child shows readiness signs. Readiness signs include staying dry overnight or for long periods, taking off and put on clothes, getting on and off the potty alone, knowing and using words when they need to go, following simple directions, showing discomfort when wet or dirty, asking to be changed, interest in the toilet and wearing “big kid” underwear, curiosity at others using the toilet, wanting privacy when going in the diaper, and not being afraid of the toilet (a common fear).
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