Points To Remember 3

Violence affects a child’s social, emotional, cognitive, and physical development.
Know the factors in society that have contributed to a rise in aggressive behavior and violence in students.
The most powerful predictor of a child’s growing up to engage in domestic violence is observing domestic violence and being physically abused as a child.
1.3 million women suffer abuse by their intimate partners every year.
The family is the model for children to learn how to handle life's problems.
Growing up with violence in the home increases an individual's risk of alcohol and drug abuse, poor school performance, aggressive behavior, and emotional problems. It also increases the risk of divorce, serious injuries and health problems, and physical or mental disabilities.
3.5-4 million children are exposed to domestic violence every year.
47% of male batterers abuse their partners at least three times per year.
The risk of child abuse and neglect is 15 times higher in a home where there is domestic violence.
75% of boys who witness domestic violence have behavior problems.
50-70% of men who batter their wives also physically abuse their children at least twice per year.
25% of mothers who are victims of domestic violence abuse their own children. This may be due to overzealous discipline to protect them from her abuser or from taking out her frustrations on the children.
Domestic violence is an abuse of power and control. It is deliberate, selective, and targets one person.
Aggressive behavior is learned through observation and role-modeling.
Methods commonly used by batterers include isolation, use of coercion and threats, intimidation, emotional abuse, minimizing and denying their behavior, using the children as pawns, economic abuse, and evoking male privilege and sex role stereotypes.
Common effects of domestic violence include low self-esteem, fear, shame, isolation, feeling overwhelmed and helpless, feeling hopeless, frustration and anger, lack of trust, and depression.
Depression is common in victims of domestic violence and further impairs the victim’s ability to help herself, make good choices, or act.
Violent behavior/abuse can be physical, emotional, social, sexual, or economic.
If there is no intervention, then the cycle of abuse tends to increase in frequency and severity.
Know how the four continuums of violence progress on the continuum of severity.
A victim of domestic violence cannot stop the cycle of violence because she is not in control and does not cause the violence.
The phases of domestic violence are the Tension Phase (characterized by increased verbal and emotional abuse and tension), the Crisis Phase (characterized by high anxiety and major controlled violence), and the Calm Phase (characterized by the batterer becoming more manipulative and the victim feeling obligated to forgive her abuser).
On average a victim goes through seven episodes of domestic abuse before she tries to seek help and get out of the relationship.
Common reasons for staying in a violent relationship include economic dependence, isolation, low self-esteem, the children, fear, social stigma, religious or moral beliefs about marriage, beliefs about her partner, and other causes such as drug abuse or pregnancy.
The first concern for someone helping a victim of domestic violence must be the safety of the victim and her children.
A safety plan should include access to important phone numbers, extra money, a place to go, contact with friends or relatives, an escape plan, and possession of important documents.
Children in a domestically violent home should be taught never to get in the middle of their parents fighting, where to take younger siblings and self for help and safety, to know their phone number and address, how to dial 911 and use a pay phone, and who at school they can go to for emotional support.
When a woman leaves her batterer, her chance of serious injury or death increases dramatically.
Since young children are egocentric, they often blame themselves for causing their parents' fighting.
Common emotional effects in children who witness domestic violence include guilt, fear, grief, confusion, anger, depression, embarrassment, worry, difficulty dealing with strong emotions, inability to protect themselves, little empathy for others, delays or regression in emotional development, quick bonding with unfamiliar adults, low self-concept, lack of trust, and no connections to their own feelings.
Common cognitive effects in children who witness domestic violence are short attention span, trouble concentrating, impulsivity, black-and-white thinking, fight/flight reactions or dissociation, less developed thinking skills, rigid sex role stereotypes, speech disorders and difficulty with language activities such as reading, poor school performance, and delays or regression in cognitive development.
Common social effects in children who witness domestic violence include poor self-esteem, poor social skills, aggression, isolation, poor understanding of social situations, relationships that are often intense or stormy, poor problem solving and anger management skills, lack of trust in adults, passivity with peers or bullying of peers, exploitive relationships, withdrawal into books or TV, and learned attitudes supporting violence.
The physiological effects on children of domestic violence include frequent somatic complaints (headaches, stomachaches, ulcers, etc.), developmental delays, nervous or anxious, short attention span, hyper-arousal or dissociation, tired or lethargic, frequent illness, poor personal hygiene or lack of proper medical care, desensitization to pain, self-abuse, and high levels of stress.
The behavioral effects on children of domestic violence include increased externalized behaviors (aggression, fighting, blaming others, bullying, dating violence, destruction of property, or anti-social behaviors such as lying or stealing) or increased internalizing behaviors (depression, withdrawal, isolation, anxiety, reluctance to try new things or fearful), over or under achievement, rigid defenses, reluctance to go to school, acting in a care-taking role, extreme aggressiveness or passivity, excessive attention-seeking behaviors, bedwetting or nightmares, out of control behaviors, inability to set own limits or follow rules, and aggression toward their mother.
Learning disabilities are common in children who witness domestic violence.
Teens often engage in over-involvement in the social aspects of school to avoid going home. They also may engage in more anti-social behaviors.
As boys get older, they tend to identify with their mother's batterer.
The developmental stage that a child is in when exposed to domestic violence will affect the impact of the violence.
Children who witness abuse display the same symptoms as children who are physically or emotionally abused.
The long-term effects of domestic violence include being involved in a violent relationship as an adult, negative attitudes towards marriage, distrust of the opposite sex, acceptance of violence and abuse as being part of a normal relationship, poor social adjustment, difficulty establishing intimate relationships, low self-worth, anxiety, depression, and post traumatic stress
The long-term physical effects of being raised in a domestically violent home include a 50% higher risk of abusing drugs or alcohol, emotional disorders, eating disorders, and engaging in physical conflicts.
Children in domestically violent homes are at higher risk for dropping out of school, getting involved with gangs, teenage pregnancy, 80% higher risk of running away, and 50% greater risk for girls of being sexually abused.
Factors that determine how domestic violence will impact a child include their developmental age, the circumstances, the intensity and frequency of the violence, how they cope with stress, the availability of support people, and their ability to accept support and guidance from trusted adults.

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