Resolving Conflict Tips

  1. Slow down the action.
  2. Don't let your emotions escalate.
  3. Make an effort to stay calm.
  4. Listen well
  5. Don't interrupt others.
  6. Hear what they have to say.
  7. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt.  In a conflict between two people, each one feels right. Try to see things from the other person's perspective.  They feel you have wronged them, just as you feel they have wronged you.
  8. Acknowledge the other person's feelings.  Use "I" statements such as, "I can see you are angry at me" or "I know you don't know too much about me right now, but we need to work this out."
  9. Be strong without being mean.
  10. Express your point of view assertively without putting the other person down.
  11. Name-calling, threats, bossing and put-downs are ineffective.
  12. Try to see conflict as a problem to be solved, rather than as a contest to be won.  Ask the questions, "What do I need?" and "What does the other person need?"
  13. If you don't seem to be getting anywhere in solving a conflict, ask for help.  Find a third party who will listen to both of you.  Make sure that person understands his or her role is to listen, clarify and help you get to a place of agreement.  He or she should not take sides.
  14. Conflict, when handled well, provides personal growth.  Look for opportunities for growth.  How can you handle the same situation next time?  Are there other options for the same situation?

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